Homemade Boursin

Life is as crazy as my normal.  I guess that means life is normal.  There is no deterioration in my eye.  My Dad is still with us.  One of my older cousins just died from cancer.  Life just keeps going on.

One of my diagnosis has moved from an arthritic condition to a central nervous condition.  There is still not a lot for treatment but I really do not feel the anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications were helping my pain levels at all.  My normal life holds many things that are supposed to help reset the central nervous system so it was time to maybe try something new.  I am trying Qi Gong.  My Aunt uses it for a nervous system reset so I will see how it works.

I have to get this recipe written down for my family.  One of their favorite breakfasts is cheesy eggs.  Scrambled eggs with Boursin.  The shelves in my closest grocery store were empty of Boursin at and after Christmas so I looked up some recipes and went for it. 

The nice thing, is that the way we go through Boursin, this saves me a lot of money.  It fills a large cottage cheese container.  I estimate that for the price of the makings, I would have to buy five packages of Boursin.  I can also control how I want it to taste.  So as tastes change, especially for the velociraptor, I can tweak it.

Boursin

16 ounces of soft cream cheese (2 packages)

8 ounces of soft butter (1 stick)

1  to 2 tablespoons garlic powder

1 to 2 tablespoons onion poweder

1 to 2 tablesppons dried chives

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Put the cream cheese and butter in a bowl and mix it together until it is completely incorporated and smooth.

Mix in your herbs until they are well blended.

That is it.  Last time, we used 2 chopped fresh scallions instead of the dried chive.  If you want, you could add all the fresh herbs.  Change it, add basil and tomato.  It is all to taste and anything you may think that could be yummy in eggs or spread on toast.

It is really that simple. We go through a tub every couple of weeks.

I am playing with some more recipes that I may need to write down.  That central nervous system issue seems to respond well to less carbohydrates in my diet but I still have bread recipes I wish to play with.  I just take longer to eat the bread.  And there is homemade soda which the short people get a kick out of making.

Maybe I will get back sooner rather than later but there is a lot of travel for family in my future starting soon.

2023 felt like chaos

I think the title of my post describes how I feel about last year.  I traveled a lot to see my Dad and be there when he was in the hospital.  Also, just taking care of things for him.  I spent a lot of time with small boys.  We went to New Orleans often.  I took a trip by myself.  I was home most weekends to work markets.  I did not finish everything for Christmas.

I need to write down some recipes so I can go back and reproduce them.  Or someone else can.  That is the goal for here this year.  More recipes.  Maybe thoughts.  I have been writing on planes.  Nothing significant.  Just trying.  I have a quiet life.  How can a quiet life be so full of chaos?

The picture is of me starting my go to breakfast currently.  Again, I need to write it down.  I start rolls the day before and finish them when I wish to eat them the next day.  My sourdough needs a bit of a boost because I am not using it as much as I did so I let the yeastie beasties start their magic here.  I change this roll every time.  Currently, I am trying to get more protein in my life.  I lost some muscle when I had food poisoning.  Again, chaos happens.

I wish you well and a lovely 2024.

the twisty road

I was going to try to be more deliberate about being in this space.  That was before the road became more twisty.  Life is just chaotic.  Then add that my Dad is nearing the end of his life, and the road becomes more twisty.  I do try to walk every day.  I found a taste of autumn near my Dad's house this week.

I feel like I am not home much, which I am not really.  I try to see my Dad every two weeks.  This summer there were times that there were no doctors' appointments and we drove around Washington state.  We took one of his shotguns and one of his pistols to my mountain and shot.  Then, we drove through two different passes in the Cascades.  That was 450 miles of driving.  Two weeks later we drove 600 miles to and from The Palouse.  It is also an area of Washington.

He really seemed to enjoy it.  But he is not moving well.  He is very slowly and, more ,the balance is not there.  He is thinking about the next road trip.  Did I get any pictures?  No.  I did all the driving.  I would like to go back to The Palouse and take more time for pictures.  Down the road.

I took the boys with me one of the weeks I went to see my Dad.  We did a short road trip.  We went up to our mountain.  We took a tree out from across our road with hand saws.  We got it done.  Yes, there are chain saws there but I felt it would have taken me as long to get the chain saws out and working as it did for us to hand saw it.  The only casualty was my dress.  I put a hole in it with the last tooth of the hand saw.

My whole family went on a trip to Colorado.  We stayed first at Black Canyon in Gunnison National Park.  It was good but three days in we felt like we had done everything we wished to do.  The canyon is gorgeous but there are not a lot of hikes.  We like hiking.  

So we took a risk, broke down camp, and went to see if we could find another campground down the road.  If not, we would slowly head home, camping all the way.  We found a lovely National Forest campground outside Ouray, Colorado.  Angel Creek.  It was more us.  More trees.  More everything if that makes sense.  Ouray had a public mineral hot spring and the boys adored it.  

We also went on a hike to the Alpine Mine.  It is a defunct gold mine.  How do we always pick the hike that is challenging?  It was only about a 4 mile hike but it had 2000 feet of elevation change in that four miles.  It is listed as moderate but not after coming up from sea level less then a week before.  Or having COVID in the last three months.  But we made.  It was gorgeous.  The velociraptor had to be carried most of the way up but flew all the way down.  Always interesting.  We all felt that this is the campground we should have been at the whole time.  We also want to go back.  There is just a lot more to explore and hike in the region.  And we are hikers.  More like saunters but we get there!

We did not wish to leave.  The last day of the drive back, the velociraptor broke his right arm at a Safety Area playground.  The TxDOT personnel were wonderful.  We were near Quanah, Texas and the county hospital there was lovely.  We did have to go into Fort Worth and he had surgery on his arm to set it and Cook Children's Hospital.  Add excitement to a vacation!  We drove home the next day.  Blue was in a lot of pain.  He is now doing better but still in a cast with pins.  The x-rays show that bone was pretty shattered.  He is supposed to keep his feet on the ground.  I am just lucky if he is not running!  Another couple weeks and hopefully, cast and pins are gone.

I have changed my creating for all the travel.  Everything is by hand.  I have started to make my dresses by hand because it is so much  more portable.  It also slows the process down.  My making a dress on a sewing machine could be considered fast fashion.  I also had a handful of dresses shrink up.  Or I want a longer length.  I am not sure which currently.  I am sure I am enjoying longer.

But those dresses and the one that got eaten by the hand saw have all become linen slips.  I can always use more slips, especially since the one I have are on their last legs.  Some were even my Mom's.  Nylon and polyester does not work very well in the heat we have had this summer.

The twists in the road is this season of life.  An added twist this autumn will be the boys brick and mortar school.  The first week is gone and they seem to be enjoying it.  Logistics are everything!  Just managing the day to day has been a lot. 

I also find I do not like to write when the house is too loud.  It is always loud now.  I am trying to find quiet for myself.  When I travel, especially alone, I seek out libraries.  But traveling alone, other than to my Dad's, does not happen often.  Finding time to be creative is hard.  Finding time to be sane is hard.  Mostly, it is walking right now.  Even more, when I can walk alone.  Exhaustion is real.

overnight rolls

Life has been busy since January.  I have been traveling most weeks.  It is either to my Dad's or with family.

My Dad has felt that he has declined since he got COVID.  I would agree.  He seems to be more fragile.  I do not think we will have him in our lives as long as we may hope.  I am trying to just spend more time with him.  It does mean I get to go for more walks in the woods.  I also feel like I have learned to travel more easily.  I am down to one carry on bag when I fly.  Even when I travel by car.  I just do not need to take everything anymore.  Simple is good.

I still take a crochet or embroidery project.  My hands need to be busy.  Mending is never ending so that is where most of my sewing attention is currently.  I am contemplating making my next spring suit.  A neoprene swimsuit basically.  The one I have has completely stretched out and I cannot find anything that I like in a shop.  My biggest problem there is that I have found five pieces of fabric I like.  Making a decision on fabric is sometimes the hardest thing.  I really only need one.  The idea of sewing with neoprene is not even as daunting as just making the decision of which fabric.

My Beloved and myself went to New Orleans for my birthday week.  Lots of walking, food, drink, and good people.  We stayed in a bed and beverage that had a roof deck with Adirondack chairs on it.  It was the straw for me to get the chairs I wanted for the front porch.  I am continuing the New Orleans tradition of having my morning tea on the front porch.  It make life better.  It is where I am writing now.  I can sit and have Blue or Bear sharing the space and it is not quite as overwhelming as being inside.  I also can watch the roses I planted grown.

One of the things I have found hard with all the traveling I am doing is having home baked fresh bread.  When we were in Homer, I came across a cookbook called The Nordic Baker.  The author has a recipe for overnight bread rolls which I have been using.  I can have fresh bread for breakfast even if it is not in the form of a loaf. 

I do find I have to share with the Bear.  I have to be very specific if I need to save some for say a camping trip.  I went by myself and this was the bread I took.  It travels well.  I have also taken the author's idea of an easy overnight roll and made a more enriched dough for the bun.  It worked well.  What I am saying, is that I have used this recipe as a framework and gone other directions with it.

overnight rolls

Note:  I modified this recipe from The Nordic Baker to use sourdough and more to my taste.  I have also kneaded in butter and used milk instead of water, added more sugar.  The only thing I have not tried with this so far is to add an egg but it would make something more similar to a brioche if you did.

2 tablespoons sourdough starter 

1 1/4 cup water (the recipe called for cold but I use room temperature water)

1 tablespoon maple syrup

1 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup rye flour

2 1/4 cup spelt or wheat flour (I have used both)

I mix everything in a bowl and then put it in a covered Pyrex to sit on the counter overnight, 8 to 12 hours. My winter kitchen works very well for leaving the dough on the counter.  My summer kitchen will need me to put this dough in the refrigerator for this time.  Make sure the dough is covered well.

This should be a wet sticky dough so kneading will probably not happen.  Just stir very well.  If not extra.

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

Cover a baking sheet with a silpat or parchment paper.

Turn the dough out on a lightly floured surface.  Divide into 10 equal portions.  Do not work too much about shaping.  I push the corners under to make the rounder when I move them to the silpat covered baking sheet.

Bake for about 15 minutes or until golden.  Let cool for a few minutes and then serve warm.

I like them with butter and jam.  Or cream cheese and smoked salmon.  On my camping trip, I cut them in half and fried them in not butter to have for breakfast.  It is really a great way to have fresh bread.

A New Year

2023.  I survived 2022?  I am not sure.  I know it was an interesting year, especially if you take it in the form of the Chinese curse, may you live in interesting time.

I have no guarantees that I will be in this space more this year.  I do find I record recipes here well because that way I can use my phone in the kitchen.  2022 was a lot of learnings about health.  My Beloved's digestive system really does not digest carbohydrates well.  It has not been just him avoiding gluten but all carbohydrates.  I have done research for myself and my health which points to the Mediterranean diet is the best to decrease inflammation. 

This all means there is a big push for lots more vegetables and animal/fish protiens in our lives.  My Beloved is not digesting beans well at all and I chose not to cook two or three different meals for dinner.  I have added animal/fish proteins back to my diet because of this.  The few times I eat dinner by myself, I am still eating plants.  I find being creative around animal/fish proteins in this house are pretty boring.  Children of all sizes are really the reason.

My arthritis is still what it is.  Good days, bad days.  The diet sometimes help.  My eye is a different story.  I have a diagnosis which is good.  ICE syndrome.  The fix is a partial cornea transplant.  My ophthalmologist moved practices to a city I have no access to which meant that I had to find another ophthalmologist.  I found one I like at Ben Taub, which is a teaching hospital.  He said I was rare but not interesting.  You do not ever want to be interesting in a teaching hospital.  I let all the residents who wanted to look at my eye because they only see about four cases a year.  Because my case of ICE syndrome is not very extreme, we are going to do a wait and see.  I need to go back about every three months currently so they can have an idea of progression and I am supposed to call them directly if the vision in that eye suddenly deteriorates.   I like this path.

One of the things I am trying to be good about for my health is walking every day.  Not just a little bit but 15000 steps.  Sometimes that is easy, other days not so much.  It helps keep everything on an even keel.  I am also trying to be consistent with yoga.  Bleah!  As my best friend's teacher said five minutes a day can make a difference.  Some days that is what I get.

This portion of my family is its crazy normal.  Business is busy and has all the problems and joys of a small business.  The new display room and work area are still being worked on.  When that is done, the house starts to get remodeled.  I am not looking forward to that.  I really do not like change in my living space.  Adding all the short people four years ago was enough.

My Dad is 94.  His health is declining.  The holidays and all of my siblings families visiting were a lot for him.  It showed.  I got caught in the flight problems and went up a week later.  I could see where they made him tired.  Not that they tried but it was a change of routine and rest.  He does talk that he is ready for the next step.  He just wants to die with no pain.  He does not want to wake up from sleep at some point.  It is hard but I do understand.

I do not think I shared this coat but if I did I apologize.  I made myself a waxed cotton work coat.  It has many names if you were to look for a pattern.  I took it to Homer with me and I loved it.  It is not very heavy but with a sweater underneath it, it is warm and dry.  

There are many things I love about this coat.  One of the biggest things is that I can keep changing it to make it work better for me.  I have changed the position of the button pockets and I have added length to the sleeves.  I rewaxed it from the original fabric and it is even more waterproof and wind resistant.  I find I have to be careful not to get over heated!  I have another jacket I bought that has different pocket placements and I  think I am going to add some more pockets to this one.  It is what I love about this coat.  I can keep modifying it until it is perfect for me.  And mend it.  

I was talking with my best friend and Koda Bear about meditation.  I do not really meditate in a form that is sit and do nothing but meditate.  I am a chop wood, carry water person.  All my meditiations are done with my hands moving.  When I hand sew for mending or alterations, I find that is true.  Crochet can be a meditation.  I treated myself to some embroidery patterns I have been looking for a while just for that.  Moving hands meditation. 

I find gardening can be the same but with the going to and from my Dad's, I am not sure that is going to happen this year.  Part of it also is I am tired.  But in the last few days I have thought about digging up my beds and doing something simple but expensive.  Buying the starts for my vegetables and then adding seeds around them.  No beans this year though.  I still have not eaten all I have grown.  What I can grow, I seem to be able to grow in abundance.  Like the year I grew 37 pumpkins.  Those took four years to eat.  I love my pressure canner.

I hope all the best in 2023 for anyone who reads this.  It feels like I am putting my thoughts into the universe and that is okay.